I was worried I wouldn't make friends when I moved countries a few years ago. I was so wrong! But let's start from the beginning.
How do you even meet new people and make friends in your mid-thirties, outside of work? When you are not looking to date, but well, to make friends? Friends you can hang with, chat, laugh, go to the movies with, share a hobby with?
It seems to come naturally as long as you are a student, but it gets harder and harder once you have entered the working life.
I was about to find out when I moved from Munich to Brussels.
Hardly knowing anybody in this foreign city I just moved to was a humbling and refreshing experience. I needed to leave my comfort zone far more frequently, especially when trying to make friends and genuinely connect with people.
One of my hobbies since a few years at that time was running. More specifically, running on trails, but I hit the roads fairly frequently for training already, too. I never considered running to be a group activity.
Luckily, I got to know the BXL Run Crew.
I first joined the Brussels Run Crew on a rainy evening in February. Around 50 people showed up for a 10k run despite the gloomy conditions. I could tell that some runners already knew each other well, while others showed up alone for the first time, as I did.
Before the run started, I engaged in small talk, checking the vibes. “Is it also your first time running here?” is a question I have asked and have been asked many times since.
Then, a "captain" of the Brussels Run Crew takes the stage and shares what we’re up to that day:
- We run at a social pace of 6 minutes per kilometer — OK, got it! It was challenging then, but I could chat a little with the some other runners without dying.
- Let’s enjoy the run and talk to each other. We’re a crew, not a club. It’s not about performance but about community. — OK, this sounds amazing!
- Don’t overtake the front runner because only the front runner knows the route — OK, that makes sense! I switch off my navigational brain and follow.
Running with a big group for the first time in a foreign city is exhilarating. I was amazed. The atmosphere amongst runners was cheerful and social, and everybody was talking to everybody. I heard chatter about running gear and upcoming races, conversations about everyday life, which restaurant is good or bad, or simply conversations about what’s happening right now: “Oh look, this café looks nice! Have you been here before?”.
During the run, I soak everything in: the cityscape, the lights in the distance, the cobblestone alleys, the wet air, the cold breeze around the canal. My fingers are slightly numb from the cold, and all the while, I am running amongst strangers who are starting to become my community. I am having a great time here and get the first feeling of “this is where I could belong.”
Suddenly, and it’s almost too soon, the run ends. We give each other high fives, and the big group disperses into smaller groups. Some people stay around for a drink close by; others make their way home. Some run, some hurry to catch the bus. I am one of them , but I promise to be back for the next run. And the next one, and the one after that.
More than two years after my first run, I am still enthusiastic about running with the run crew. There is so much I appreciate:
You get to know people from all walks of life, and when you run, you meet everyone at eye level
Regardless of where we are from and the day jobs we follow, everybody is the same when we show up to run. Your income doesn’t matter; your title doesn’t matter. It only matters that you are there and that you run. At the Brussels Run Crew, everyone talks to everyone. We meet and share an activity, which immediately gets us closer. I have met so many wonderful people whom I would have never met if it hadn’t been for the run crew.
You feel safer in a group than when you run alone
Depending on where you live, safety in public spaces can be a concern, especially when you run in the dark months of the year. You feel much more comfortable, knowing that you are running with a large group of like-minded people through the neighborhoods. Plus, you are way more visible to cars and traffic in general.
You explore your city and get to know it better
When I look at my Strava heatmap of Brussels, it seems like the regular city map — I have run on so many streets! Compared to all other means of transportation in a city, running is the only one that gives you the versatility and speed to cover large areas and discover all the little roads less traveled. As a positive side effect, it significantly improved my awareness of “what is where” in the city.
You can give back to your community
Any community provides opportunities to give back. Giving back is a great way to increase your happiness and the happiness of others. I became a captain of the Brussels Run Crew, and with this privilege, I get to create new routes and, from time to time, be the front-runner for our community runs. I take the stage and get to introduce the Brussels Run Crew to new runners joining for the first time.
Giving back by doing something I love is truly a blessing. A good friend from the run crew started offering interval training every Saturday. These intervals are now a fixture in many people’s weekends, and so many people have gotten so much faster thanks to his initiative - and so many bugatsas (A tasty Greek delicacy) got devoured in the aftermath - but that's a story for later.
Friendships are formed and relationships are strengthened during our community runs. Playing a part in creating such opportunities is something that makes me happy.
You find friends for life
Through the community runs, I made friends. In hindsight, it almost happened automatically. At first: You need to do something that you like.Then, I suppose 80% comes down to showing up regularly and being genuine around people. The remaining 20% is probably a mixture of many ingredients: Say yes when there’s a chance to try something new, listen more than you talk, and ask questions that show sincere interest.
None of that is specific to running; It’s just that sharing a physical activity with other people puts you in a good place right from the start. It also removes the feeling of awkwardness when there is a pause in conversation -you are running, after all.
The Brussels Run Crew elevated my running experience and showed me that running can be more than just running.
Running is also community.
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